Why You Should Give More Praise (And How It Actually Helps You, Too)

A simple way to boost morale and improve relationships with your peers

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

We spend most of our day working with our peers - in some cases more than we do with our actual families (a sad truth). With this in mind, the relationships we have with our colleagues are pretty deep rooted to the point that they almost feel like the clichéd “we’re a family here” phrase. Sure, we support each other on various tasks in order to work towards the overarching goals of the team, but let’s be honest here - I certainly don’t give enough praise, and you likely don’t either.

I don’t give praise often enough to my friends, to my coworkers, even to the barista who somehow gets our order right despite the morning rush. Sure, we think nice things about people like Wow, they handled that meeting like a pro or They’ve got a great sense of style, but how often do we say them out loud? If you’re like me, not often enough…

For some reason praise can feel like a resource we have to ration, like it's a some kind of super rare currency that should only be used on special occasions. But the reality? Giving praise is 100% free and it makes people feel good. And here’s the kicker - it actually benefits you too, not just the receiver.

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The Power of a Simple Compliment

Let’s have a quick reflection. 🤔

When was the last time someone genuinely praised you. Maybe a coworker told you that your sprint demo went well, or that email you sent to a stakeholder was very articulate, or a friend appreciated how you listened to their issues and helped them unpick the problem. The praise probably stuck with you longer than any criticism ever would, as praise has some innate ability to lift up our moods and boost our confidence in ways we don’t even realise.

But here’s the thing right…we all assume that other people will know their strengths or that they know they are doing a good job. We think “oh she already knows she’s great at that”, but do they? Or do they just go through their day wondering if anybody actually notices the effort they are putting in?

Why We Hold Back

I am as guilty of this as the next guy, but there are a few reasons why we don’t give more praise:

1. We assume it’s obvious 💭

Just because you admire someone’s work, their approach or their general ethic doesn’t mean they are aware of it.

2. We’re too busy ⛔️

Let’s be honest, most of us are hard-working busy individuals who just about find the time to grab lunch in between a flurry of tasks and meetings. Taking that extra minute to acknowledge someone’s effort doesn’t often cross our already-busy minds.

3. We think it might be awkward 😬

Giving a compliment can sometimes feel weird, especially if we’re not used to it. But flipping the situation on its head, when was the last time someone (yourself included) said “Ugh, why did they tell me something nice?”.

My wife has cracked this one for sure - she often approaches strangers when we are out and about to compliment them on various things such as their dress-sense, the fact they are doing a good job at parenting their newborn etc.

How Giving Praise Helps You

Here’s the selfish part - praising others actually makes you feel better as well. Studies have shown that expressing our gratitude and appreciation boosts our own happiness and strengthens relationships even further.

Reflect again. When you last gave praise and made their day, how did you feel? I bet you felt good within yourself knowing that you improved their mood as well.

Plus, praise has a way of coming back around. When you make a habit of recognising people’s strengths they are more likely to notice yours. This helps build a culture where appreciation flows more freely, reducing that awkwardness and preventing all the good stuff being locked away for nobody to hear.

Homework - Give Some Praise 🌱

Hopefully you’ve had a time to reflect a little on how praise you have received, as well how it feels when you deliver praise to someone else.

With this in mind I would like to set you, kindest reader, a little task. Try to deliver one piece of praise today (or next available opportunity). Whether this is to you colleagues, your partner, the postman, the shop worker - just give some praise.

Start small - Giving praise doesn’t mean you need to start showering people with over-the-top compliments every five minutes. Just look for opportunities to be more vocal about the positive things you already notice.

• If someone handles a tough situation well, tell them.

• If you like someone’s energy, say it.

• If you appreciate something about a person, don’t keep it to yourself.

Praise isn’t a limited resource. The more you give, the more it grows.

So why not start today?

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Thanks for reading! I really appreciate you taking the time to be here. If you enjoyed this, feel free to share it with a friend, drop a comment, or just hit reply – I always love hearing your thoughts.

Until next time,

Mike